Logs:SASS - Episode Twenty-Eight

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SASS - Episode Twenty-Eight
Dramatis Personae

Sarah, Shyla Text: Mikhail Callers: Jill

7 October, 2017


Members of LONE call in and a contest to determine Halloween costumes for Sarah and Shyla begins.

Location

St. John's University


<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "Hello, Fallcoast! It's that time again. Time to ignore the trials and tribulations of college life and party like it's Saturday night...because it is! I'm Sarah, and with me, as always...except when she's off doing something else...is my good, personal friend, Shyla. Don't forget you can call in with your requests or just to natter with us. A few weeks ago I played a single by this guy, Kirin J Callinan called 'Living Each Day'. Here's his new one, which features Jimmy Barnes among others. This is the Australian equivalent of getting Bruce Springsteen on your song and telling him just to scream. Enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvrZJ5C_Nwg

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "Cowboys! Well, Aussie cowboys! Yum! Well, yum until you get Jimmy to scream, haha! I wonder if all Australian music is goofy like this? Hmmm... I wish I knew an Australian person, I'll, certainly, show them a good. damn. time. Oh wait, did I say that out loud? Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, although Sarah has already done it for me, I'm Shyla and today I'll be the Pinky to Sarah's Brain. And since I only have a black and white view on... most everything, this is what I think is the only other type of Australian music! ... oh and if anyone looks this up on youtube or something, be careful, it's a bit... nsfw! At least noone is working tonight, right?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3VjJKKVNew"

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "Ooh...Kylie! Nice choice, Shyla. So what are we going to do tonight, Shyla? Oh...wait...you're supposed to ask that. Anyone know how the college football team is going? I'm dreadful at keeping abreast of such things. Here's a new song from an old act. So old that the girl in the clip is his daughter! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHomCiPFknY

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "That little shack reminds me of Fallout 4. ANYWAY, so weird, I knew someone named Gary Newman, but his name was spelled N-E-W-M-A-N. *mutters* Was kind of a jerk. *back to normal speaking volume* SO, yes, someone out there let us know how our team is doing? It's our not-so-subtle attempt to see if anyone is actually listening to us, haha! Aaaaand here, another lovely song, a cover by ... wait for it... Spiderman's girlfriend!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0X3CLJVMJU"

TXT From Mikhail To Shyla and Sarah - Who cares about football? Hockey started this weekend! Go Sharks!

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "That was 'Turning Japanese' by Kirsten Dunst and a greater waste of recording time would be hard to find. When I discovered it the other day, I noticed that in the making of video, she isn't even dancing around to her own song. She's dancing around to the original! Oh...we have a text from Mikhail. He says that football in unimportant and that hockey is starting this weekend. Does that mean that Mikhail will be giving us weekly updates?" A pause. "Is the hockey team also called the Sharks? I have to play this before Shyla stops me! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DojqyA3Ma2k

TXT From Mikhail To Shyla and Sarah - of course it's the Sharks. what else would it be? and if you want weekly update you've got them

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "What?! There was NO wasted time in that recording! Well, ok, anything without Kirsten Dunst in it could go, but yeah, who cares who she is dancing to? As long as she's dancing! And another question, Miss Judgy-pants, why would I stop you from playing that song? What song you might ask? Why "Love City" by 9Muses, of course! Unless you made a mistake and tried to play "Demon City Shinjuku" instead. That would be bad, bad bad. Don't look it up, kiddos." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEvLye15sq0"

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "You don't like it when I play more than one K-Pop song a show. That's all I meant. Shyla replied with My Chemical Romance singing 'Mama'. And you know I don't have any judgy-pants. I don't have any pants at all." A pause. "Another text from Mikhail. He's gonna do weekly hockey reports! Yay, that's great news. Let's hope the results are worth talking about." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSznpyG9CHY

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla hmmmms, "Oh, well, I guess I could relax those K-Pop rules a wee bit. And so far the count is right on "1" so if you MUST play another, I guess I can handle it. Oh and that last one was "Lights Out" by Royal Blood. And yes, Hockey... which is my least favorit sport, sorry Mikhail! And why Sharks? I mean, Sharks are cool but they certainly don't navigate through ice. Maybe ice-cold, but not literal ice. Which reminds me... it's like that Greenland Shark that is found in the cold waters up north. The longest living vertebrate, could live up to 500 years or something! That's amazing! But damn, they need to get rid of that icky thing that clamps on their eyeballs, though. Ugh Ugh Ugh." There's a pause. "This total tangent is brought to you by ME." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoiEkEuCWog

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "That was Bebe Rexha with 'No Broken Hearts'. Nicki Minaj is also on that song, like she is on every song released. Interesting science facts from Shyla there. But would you want to live 500 years as a shark in Greenland? No offence to sharks and Greenlanders but you'd want to do a little more with your time. Wouldn't you? I actually thought all the teams had different animals and the Sharks was the football team. But Mikhail is in the team, he'd know. One from a few years back now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jkq0MQa18c

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "Well, yeah, I guess hanging out in the cold waters off of Greenland for 500 years would be a bit... boring. I mean, no Netflix, no Cable. Heck, no basic tv, even! But then again, like I said, not like they could see anything with those CREEPY COPEPODS on their eyeballs!! And btw, that was Alphaville with "Song For No One". And I think the school's mascot is pretty much the team's logo, no matter what sport it is. I think. WELL, I guess that outs us on our sports interests! Which is nothing at all... How are we going to pick up them jocks at the bars now, Sarah??" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjg52RWcvNc"

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "That was Axwell and 'More Than You Know'. In answer to Shyla's earlier question about how we can pick up jocks if we don't know about sport. The easiest way would be to be breathing. That's pretty much all you have to do to attract a jock. Speaking of breathing, it's Halloween month so we need to sort out what we'll be wearing at the various costume parties. Anyone got any suggestions? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XljmO_KPQaM

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla giggles, "Oh, that's true, and I'm very good at breathing. Look look, Sarah, check it out." Listeners hears Shyla taking a really long breath. Then a long long... awkward amount of time before there's the sound of her letting out her breath quickly, followed by another giggle, "Stop staring at my chest when I do that! Now I'll have to do it all over ag- OK OK I won't, geez!" There's a bit of a microphone scuffle. "And YES, please give us suggestions on what to wear! I suck at these things. I mean, one time I was a cute arctic fox and... ok, nevermind. But we should have a poll or something, let our listeners pick! Fun fun!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-kSUQBKgSM

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "That was Ludmilla with '24 Horas Por Dia' - twenty-four hours a day? I'm not good at Spanish. If I remember correctly, you made a great Arctic Fox. You just had problems figuring out where to put that tail. Your solution was quite inventive. Anyone have any ideas on what I can dress up as? And, no, witch is not a very imaginative response. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocbLw49Or44

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla claps quickly, "I love it! That was "Children of the Dark" by Mono Inc. And stop trying to embarass me on live radio, Sarah, it won't work, I'm immune to such things. So how should we do this voting thing? A poll online? And we can manually vote for the ones that call or text in. I'm getting excited! I really wonder what the students of SJU would come up with!" A pause. "Or maybe we should be afraid?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX7LLua5NCM

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "That was Garbage and Number One Crush. I guess we could put up details on the student boards around campus. Get them to vote online and announce the results before we go to the party...and be dressed up to do the show closest to Halloween. I think we can pull this off...as the actress said to the bishop. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uI9Hh26OTs

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "That... was strange. I wonder if Tom Cruise had an issue with these people, he's crazy enough, I wouldn't be surprised. That was Com Truise, yes, Com Truise with "Propagation". And I guess we could do that, putting it on status boards, although I kinda feel embarrassed about THAT. Might be a little presumptuous of us to ask people who might not know us from Adam to vote as if we're like celebrities or something." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-Dur3uXXCQ

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "That was Kesha and 'Praying'. A song dedicated to Dr. Luke, her old producer who she accused of sexual harassment. So good to have her back releasing music again after such a traumatic time. Aren't we celebrities, Shyla? Oh...that's disappointing to hear. We can't have a vote based on Mikhail and Ghost Girl though. We need a broader group than that. If nothing else, we need to advertise more. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBkHHoOIIn8

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "That's Portugal. The Man with "Feel it Still". And yes, that's the artist name "Portugal. The Man", I didn't know you could have a name that is like two sentences, or whatever you would call that. And I guess we should advertise more... but how? I mean, I guess I could show off my bum that says "listen to SASS" written on it, but I think I would get into trouble or something." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClU3fctbGls

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "And that was Pink's new one, 'What About Us?'. Pink recently said she would never work with Dr Luke because of the Kesha thing. Small world. How many people would see writing on your naked bum, Shyla?" A pause. "Don't answer that question. Besides, people might think it said 'SOSS'...depending on where the letters were. We'll do what we can and hope we can get more listeners and callers. I'm sure the university could even hold a Halloween party. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2qgadSvNyU

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "Dua Lipa with "New Rules". If any of you want to watch the video, it is pretty awesomely made, and who doesn't love flamingos? And Dua is insanely beautiful. Almost as gorgeous as my roomie here! And I don't understand your reference to "SOSS", but I'm guessing it's something naughty." She pauses and one could imagine her shaking a finger at her co-host, "Naughty." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50GQjUZ4P3M

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "It was only a little bit naughty, Shyla. Just a little. No need for finger wagging...especially one so wagged. That was Rita Ora with 'I Will Never Let You Down'. Unfortunately, we may let you down a little because the end of our show is coming up. We may have a representative of LONE ring up about the wrestling but if she doesn't get in touch, we can hold it over for next week. They'll be doing a show for Halloween too. Now a song about God being fed up with people praying to Him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC0rzv1j8Zc

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla giggles, "That was Sparks with "What The Hell Is It This Time?" And apparently they mentioned in an interview that they aren't digging at religion but at people who constantly expect other people to fix their problems for them. So all you people out there who do that, you know who you are! Well, or maybe not, I guess a lot of people wouldn't know that's what they tend to do!" She pauses, as she tends to do. "Wait, am *I* like that? Do I ask everyone to do my work for me? Sarah, do I? I mean, you set up the equipment each ti... OH. MY. GOD. I do do that! Noooooooooooo!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxRQNO8vg2Y

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "Don't be silly, Shyla. If you ever ask anyone to do something for you, at least you're asking someone real. I don't mind setting up the equipment. Less chance of a fire that way." A pause. "I'm kidding! You know you're awesome, Shyla. That last song was G.R.L. with 'Ugly Heart'. They went a bit longer after one of their members died but I haven't heard much from them lately. Got overtaken by Fifth Harmony...who I guess are Fourth Harmony now. Speaking of memories. Here's one for a man we recently lost https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0JvF9vpqx8

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "Ahhh, yes, Tom Petty with his very famous "Don't Come Around Here No More". I say it is famous because even *I* know that song, and it's like, what, 8 generations before mine? OK, I know, it's more like 5 generations. But in all seriousness, he will be missed." There's another pause, a little whisper in the background, then, BACK, "Oh, we just got a call from Jill from LONE, that stands for... " she mumbles something really quickly so no one can possible understand, "Anyway, welcome to SASS, you are live On. The. Air."

<SJU Radio> "This is Gutter Trash Terri Thompson, and that's the last time I let one of the kids from here in the park use my phone." She clears her throat. "So Jack E. Bux calls me up and he says hey listen, I think we need to get our name out there more. I really want to put you to work, you're our champion. He says, why don't you call in to SASS and tell them about our event and I said you know what? I think I will, when I sober up." She burps. "Excuse me. Anyway. We've had a hell of a show last month, and we've got three matches on the card plus other surprises. We are LONE. Ladies of New England wrestling and we have a show usually on the last Friday of every month. Come on down to the Old Harvest Fairgrounds on October 29th. Belltime is at 8 PM. I unfortunately don't have a match on the card but I'll be there and hey, you never know."

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "Hello Terri and welcome to SASS...and it sounds like you have plenty. LONE have been hosting events in Fallcoast for a few months now. How is everything going? Since you're the Champion, I guess you're happy with it."

<SJU Radio> Terri says, "Oh, I'm loving it! We've been touring the New England area for a while, and still do but Fallcoast is our home now. I've been with LONE since Day 1 last year and it's... Well it's been amazing! Made a few friends. Made plenty of enemies."

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla says, "I'm glad you're enjoying your time in Fallcoast! Sarah and I are relative newcomers as well but I think we've integrated into the culture pretty well and, at least in my opinion, I like it here too! I must admit that I'm not very familiar with LONE or wrestling in general. But what I see on TV seems pretty intense and fun! I would love to see that match at the end of October!" There's a pause at that. "Hey, do you guys give out lessons for newbies? I mean I would be super in- Oh Sarah, stop looking at me like that, I'm serious! But yeah, if you all do give lessons, I would like to show up one day. Show you all my stuffz!"

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah sighs. Sarah sighs a lot. "Shyla would be a great wrestler" she finally says. "I've seen her moves and they're really impressive. You could do worse than have a wrestler called 'Honey Bunny'. Oh...looks like we have another caller. Someone called Ms. Gucci. I don't miss Gucci at all myself. You're on the air, Gucci."

<SJU Radio> "Oh, wow, really? This should be interesting." Terri says when she hears Gucci is calling in.

Gucci responds, "There goes Terri Thompson, going on and on on the radio about herself. Why don't you run down the card? What kind of champion are you?"

Terri laughs in response, "The kind of Champion that doesn't need to take shortcuts and try to sue to get championship rematches, and if you would've given me a moment, I was going to. We actually do have a place if you'd like to take some lessons. Stop on by Wealthy Walter Washington's Wrestling Academy, or as we call it, 4WA by the Old Harvest Fairgrounds. On our card we have "Pretty" Fay Qent versus the debuting tag team The Juggalettes in a 2 on 1 handicapped match. Fay's not just pretty, but dominating and I wonder how she'll fair against two ladies."

Gucci scoffs, "What's Pretty about Fay Qent is that she's Pretty Vacant. She's got more braun than brains and The Juggalettes sound like two ICP rejects from your trailer park."

Terri sucks on her two front teeth audibly. "If you want to talk smack about Fay Qent, who am I to stop you? Our next match is Hannah Kix versus Ami Reeves. Two ladies who debuted last month who haven't had the best of luck so far, but Hannah has some mean kicks and Ami, I've seen her come up. She can really put in some work."

Gucci responds, "Yeah, like the work I'm going to put on you whenever I get my title shot."

Terri laughs heartily, "Hey, you know who to talk to about that. I'm always waiting! And lastly in our main event we have The Glorious One going against a woman who well... creeps me out. That vampiric nun Sister Catherine. She's pretty eerie."

Gucci lets out a sharp laugh, "Ha! She sucks! Just like you! Get it? Vampire? Suck? You suck?"

Terri groans, "Real funny..."

Gucci laughs, "Oh yeah! I'm comedy gold! Just like my four finger ring!"

Terri retorts, "Yeah your four finger ring is funny gold. Fools gold. But yeah those are the matches we have planned! But who knows what else can happen! We've also got a Halloween Costume Contest planned after the show, so come on down! Tickets are $10, $15 for front row and we even air on Internet Pay Per View for $5 a viewing! Check our website! ladiesofnewenglandwrestling.com!""

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla is not heard for a little while, there's an obvious bit of dead air before she jumps on, "Oh, well, wow. That's... hi! Is that... Is that normal? Sarah! Is that what happens? On TV, sometimes I see people just say things to each other before matches, like.. trash talk and stuff. This sounds like that! I can do that too! Look, listen listen.. *ahem* "Hey, you want a piece of me? Well, I'll take you on and make YOU into PIECE-meal!" Huh? Huh? Pretty good huh?" Another pause. "Awww, what do you know about wrestling anyway, Sarah? Oh, sorry everyone, yes, a big fight-thing is going on and it looks super exciting! Everyone better go check it out! and $5 for streaming PPV? That's like nothing!"

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "That was pretty good, Shyla. I'd have been dumbstruck by that trash talk. Buried under garbage so deep that I wouldn't know my figure four from my piledriver. Honestly, Shyla, you'd be great at it. Thanks for that witty repartee Terri and Gucci. Sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. Oh...I think our guests have something else to add."

<SJU Radio> Jill says, ""Shyla! Piece-meal! You're becoming quite the contender!" Terri laughs a bit. "But yes! On the website, you can view all of our promos, buy merchandise, and view our past events! Anyway, we hope you guys come out! Hope to see you there!" Gucci adds in, "You suck, Terri!" to which Terri responds, "Yeah, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you!"

<SJU Radio> Ditzy DJ Shyla practically squeals at the verbal back and forth, "Yes! You can count me being there, that's for sure. And I'll look into the lessons thing. Also, fellow SJU students out there, if you wish to take lessons too, I would love to see you there! Anyway, I think that's pretty much near the end of our show, but not THE end, because I always let Sarah have the last word, haha." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND4Sj7ZP2yk

<SJU Radio> DJ Witch Sarah says, "That was Mo with 'Final Song'. It's probably not pronounced Mo because there's a diagonal through that 'o'. Probably pronounced 'Algernon'. Our thanks to our listeners for putting up with us and to all our callers and texters for caring. Special thanks to Terri and the gals from LONE. In their honor, this track from the early 90s. Got to Number 4 in the UK. Goodnight, Fallcoast. We'll see you soon. And don't forget the costume vote. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRbJHld_kkA