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Full Name: Clarissa Serenity McQueen-Sheridan-O'Doul-Maxwell-Ogilvy-Pierce-Harcourt-Skinner
Appears As: Clarissa
Date of Birth: December 21st 1969
Apparent Age: Early 40s
Occupation: Professional Widow
Sphere: Mortal
Virtue: Loyalty
Vice: Lust
Dead Husbands: 7

Insurance is God.

Meredith Brooks - Bitch
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

xxxxxIn 1992 anyone could buy weed from a lot of people. That spring, the list of eligible sellers began to dwindle around the trailer parks and one name cropped up repeatedly. Eventually, Clarissa was tossed from her position at the top of the weed food chain by her own sister, just before her sister went into hiding and has yet to reappear. A few months later, once the insurance company had written the checks in full, Clarissa went west to find her fortune.

xxxxxWhat she ended up finding was a series of men too dumb to recognize a threat until they were falling, drowning, or running headfirst into bullets. Those insurance guys kept tabs on her and she knew it, always ready with an alibi and a lot of proof on her side. Each man in her life awarded her both a substantial amount of insurance money, often more than enough to upgrade her lifestyle a notch, so she could wrangle a better husband next time around, but also a kid or two.

xxxxxHer family in Fallcoast got used to her sending back a new round of offspring in addition to a couple of checks before she'd lose interest and focus on the big picture stuff: getting remarried.

xxxxxHusband number seven was J. Walker Harcourt of St. Paul, Minnesota, heir to a brewing empire. She did not win her round of court cases regarding the post-funeral dispute about the man's last will and testament. So, she's back in her old stomping grounds and ready for another round. Mr. Eight exists, she figures, and sooner or later, he'll like what she's offering.

xxxxxThe poor, stupid bastard.

RP Hooks
  • Skinner ~ Where all good mothers originate.
  • Widow ~ She prefers to thinking of it as winning seven marriages in a row by TKO.
  • Secrets ~ She has them and knows even more. Maybe yours.
  • Mother of the Year ~ If Supermom had a villain, she'd be outclassed by Clarissa. Who once forgot a child not in a parked car, but on a parked moped. And no, not while they were in a car seat.
  • Dead Husbands ~ David J. "DJ" McQueen ("suicide" by shotgun). Micah Sheridan ("drowning" in bathtub). Jimmy "Joyboy" O'Doul (robbery gone wrong). Terrance Maxwell ("suicide" by cop). Brent Ogilvy (heart attack at racetrack). Killian Pierce (electrocution during home repair). Clark Harcourt (heart attack in hospital).
  • Missy01.jpgMissy .. She's got my eyes and maybe her father's smile. Who could tell?
  • NAME .. Stuff goes here.
  • NAME .. Stuff goes here.

ClarissaD.jpg ClarissaA.jpg ClarissaC.jpg ClarissaB.jpg


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